When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again, ' and drank it. The nurse fainted. Alan King
Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired. Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision. Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy. Trust, even when...
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Alysha Speer
Running ain't no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction.
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Mark Lawrence
I’ll tell you another secret, this one for your own good. You may think the past has something to tell you. You may think that you should listen, should strain to make out its whispers, should bend over backward, stoop down low to hear its...
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Lauren Oliver
Tension, in the long run, is a more dangerous force than any feud known to man.
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Criss Jami
Wherever I go, I meet myself.
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Dejan Stojanovic
More Quotes By Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books.
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
